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My Boyfriend's Mistake

My Boyfriend's Mistake
Writer, 16

Two years is a long time for a relationship. It's like twice as long in high school years. That was me and my boyfriend, Sam*. We've been best friends since we were ten, and then we got together in the ninth grade. I loved him so much. He never told me he loved me and I wasn't exactly sure if he did, but I was sure that he cared about me a lot.

I always said I'd wait until I was married to have sex. When I met Sam, my morals changed. I knew I loved him and I was pretty sure he loved me. I mean sure, we fought like any happy couple does, but he was my soul mate. Every time I looked into his big green eyes, I melted on the spot. I knew he was the one that I would give my virginity to. We had talked about it and he was overly anxious. I mean, what guy wouldn't be ecstatic to hear his girlfriend ask him if he was ready to have sex? We made a date and everything. I thought it would be perfect, but I was unbelievably nervous. I prepared as much as I thought I could.

I planned what to wear, I bought condoms, and I even read up on the subject to know how to be especially safe. Then the day came. Then the hour, down to the second, where it was all about to begin.

"I can't do this," he said hesitantly.
"What?" I asked. I wasn't sure if I had heard him correctly.
"Look, we're only sixteen. This is a big thing. We've been together for two years already and we'll have plenty of time to do this." He kissed my forehead and walked out of the room.

For weeks afterwards, I felt rejected and humiliated. I finally had found the "one," only to find out he didn't want me. My friends tried to console me by saying that if we had had sex, it would be much more than just sex, and he couldn't handle the emotional responsibility. Due to this incident, things between us just weren't the same. We were fighting constantly and then he started with the name-calling. We decided to take a break, but we both knew that we'd get back together.

For that month that we were separated, I felt as if my whole world was falling apart. I couldn't eat or sleep; I didn't even want to go out. I thought things were getting better, but they were about to get worse.

Time passed and we got back together. While we were separated, I knew he had kissed this girl from a different town, Laura*. I wasn't thrilled, but I couldn't say anything since I had also kept my options open while we weren't together. About two months after we had decided to get back together, he started acting strangely. My best girl friend, Angela*, was also Sam's best friend. She was sort of like our marriage counselor. She convincingly told me that she'd find out what was wrong. She talked to him, and like any other gossiper I had to ask: "What did he say? " "Nothing," she said.

That didn't seem right. My Sam was always the happy, funny one of the group and we all knew that when he was unhappy, something was wrong.

"What do you mean nothing? He looks like he's about to cry," I questioned. Then I looked up and saw the look in her eyes, "You know something, don't you?" I asked. She went on to tell me that no one knew and if she told and he found out he would never speak to her again. My eyes filled up with tears. "Please, you have to tell me. I need to know. I can help him..." I stuttered. Angela took a deep breath. "Okay, Sam lost his virginity to Laura and she said she's pregnant."

I'm not sure what happened next. I guess I blacked out. I remember getting hysterical in the middle of the hallway and Angela dragging me to the bathroom and telling me that I had to pretend that nothing's wrong. The easiest way to do that was to go home. When I went to my locker to get my books to leave, everyone couldn't help noticing my tear-stained face. I looked at Sam. He looked at me and didn't speak a word. He looked at Angela with a face that I could read like a book. It said, "You told her."

I stayed home for a few days after that. I lied to my mom and said I had terrible cramps because I couldn't say, "Mom, can I stay home because my boyfriend impregnated someone else?" Everyone from every town had heard of this girl because everyone says she's a whore. Everyone also knew that she had serious psychiatric problems. Nonetheless, I talked to Sam in a short and sweet conversation. I told him that he lied to me and I couldn't be with him. He was upset, but he dealt with it. Sam had bigger things to worry about... like if he was about to be a father.

To make a long story short, Laura lied because she said she was "in love" with him, and she thought that by telling him that I'd find out, break up with him, and she could have him all to herself even if she had ruined his life by saying that she was pregnant with his lovechild. Well, I did find out, I broke up with him, but he's not with her. He despises her for what she put him through. At the same time, I tell him, it's his fault. He shouldn't have had sex with someone he hardly knew.

Now, Sam is on a quest to get me back. Whether he'll succeed or not is uncertain, but there is one thing that is certain: He's the one now that's going to wait until he's married to have sex.

*Names have been changed

Last Modified Date: 1/10/2001