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All Because of My Brother

All Because of My Brother
Writer, 13

It all started when I moved to where I live now. I was in health class and there he was—the boy who I knew I was going to love forever, and I was right. He kind of glanced in my direction and just to have his baby blues stare into mine was the BEST feeling in the world. So our teacher assigned us our seats and guess who she put right next to me? Jason!

He came over and sat in his spot and said hi to me. Then he asked me where I was from, and we talked for the rest of the period. We started going out the next week. The day he asked me out was the HAPPIEST day of my life! We had been going out for about three weeks, and then this new girl, Shanna*, came to our school and of course, just like all the other guys, Jason was in love with her instead of me. So he broke up with me and I asked why, and he said it was because of Shanna. He liked her and not me. So THEY started going out the VERY next day. And that was the WORST day of my life.

Shanna was "little miss perfect." She was skinny, funny, smart, and very pretty. So from that day forward I tried my hardest to be like her. I even went on a strict diet, and I ran three to five miles every day. I was practically killing myself. Every night I would cry myself to sleep. My grades started going way down, my friends started leaving me for other friends since I was always so depressed, and they said our friendship just wasn't the same anymore. My mom was also crying herself to sleep because she didn't know what to do with me anymore. She had tried everything, and I still wouldn't tell her what was wrong. She started taking me to counseling, and they put me on anti-depressants. I was told that I was beautiful and that no boy is ever worth my tears, and the one that is would never make me cry. But I didn't believe it. My depression was getting worse and worse.

Then one night I was talking to my older brother Chad*. He's 19. I told him EVERYTHING. I even told him how I was thinking about trying to overdose. At first he was mad that I would do this to myself, but then he realized that I came to him for help, not for discipline. So we talked for about three hours, and he told me that I was very pretty, and that I didn't deserve to be treated this way. And that night, my brother said, "I love you" to me for the FIRST time. He said that he didn't know what he would do without me. We both started crying, and he just held and hugged me for the next hour. The whole time he kept telling me how much he loved me, and that he would start taking care of me and helping me to get over my depression. And he did.

I will never forget that day for as long as I live. I mean, if it weren't for my brother, I might not be here right now. So Chad, if you're reading this, I LOVE YOU!!

*Names have been changed

Last Modified Date: 1/10/2001